Tales Of An Unbothered Bride : Weeding Out What Truly Matters

As a 2025 bride that began her planning process as of a few months ago, I’m coming to terms with the reality of planning and having your wedding the same year. I recently spoke to 2026 brides who are planning for their 2026 wedding ceremony and wedding planning seems a bit intense generally. As a little girl when I’ll binge watch β€œSay yes to the dress” or β€œBridezillas”, the process of bringing your vision, and loved ones together really is an extreme sport. From figuring out who’s even worthy of being in the same room with you at this point and time in life to deciding what flavor cake you’d like in 4 months.

I know it’s pretty taboo, but I’m not worried but I am alittle nervous. I got engaged in December of 2023, so I’ve had some time to think about how I wanted to execute my vision and I somewhat ( still struggling) to wrap my head around spending $10k+ in ONE day. but to defuse the expenses while executing my vision, we’re paying for things one by one. This is the tale of an unbothered bride.

We’re having a wedding dinner a week after we elope because we truly value intimacy and balance within everything we do. To be honest the concept of 60+ of you and your partners friends and family witnessing you dance , kiss, and progressively get drunk is not as common as you think. So this will be exposure therapy disguised as a wedding dinner. I think when we envision our wedding day as women, we think of it being the only day we can cosplay as a princess and get unlimited β€œCongratulations’’ when you begin to refer to your boyfriend as you β€œfiancé”. I’m still working on allowing fiancΓ© to roll off the tongue but it doesn’t. I’m still very much so my man my man my man but I end up referring to him as my partner because he’s been nothing but the best partner each and every day.

To think people grow apart because of the stresses of wedding planning really is insane to me because that’s a clear indication that you’re not ready for MARRIAGE. This is a huge deal and sometimes I down play it because he makes partnership so fun!

My partner and I have daily meetings about the wedding to make sure we’re getting through with the big shit like the venue, food, dj, decorations, etc. This is how we’re able to get so many things done in less than 6 months. I’m super thankful that he actually wants to be apart of the process because it makes both of our lives easier. It’s more common for the man to be more hands off so their wife can plan the whole thing but I enjoy all the help I can get because struggling isn’t something we condone in our relationship.

There were a few things I accepted as being unnecessary to stress over when it comes to my wedding like investing in party favors but my mother in law INSISTS that we have mini champagne bottles and rum cake, so now she’s in charge of wedding favors now ( thanks mom! ).

Anytime I get overwhelmed with a detail of the wedding I remind myself that I don’t want to micromanage because it’s actually not that deep and everything I want will come to fruition. But my community is very vocal and has lots of suggestions, and it takes a lot to simply say β€œI love your idea, but I really love this more” and it simply communicates my actual desires for MY big day.

Another thing I quickly began to accept is that my wedding dresses will have to be purchased untraditionally meaning either online, or custom. So I’m doing both an online wedding dress from an online boutique and I have a friend making my reception dress from scratch. I went to try on a wedding dress in person, and the dress that I loved was $5000. Granted, their price range began at $4000 but I couldn’t believe I was wearing a $5,000 gown. That experience was beautiful and I felt like it truly kick started my journey as a bride.

I’m still working on not fixating on the cake, the food, and the dj but these are things I fixate over in my everyday life so this is the only challenge I’m truly facing. And to be honest, that’s a blessing I don’t take for granted. Initially when I began my wedding planning process I was almost afraid to start because I was waiting for my parents to hold my hand as I step into this new chapter of my life. That’s how it always is when I’d see others get married as their parents take place as their personal assistants leading them into their marriage, but that’s not my reality nor what I want.

It use to bother me, but I began to embrace the silver lining in the unconventional things in life. Although traditionally people center their weddings around their parents, my parents stress me the fuck out, and I couldn’t imagine having them in my space with all the drama they come with naturally. Unlike most parents they refuse to decenter themselves on a regular so I have no interest making them a main character on my such a beautiful day. I chose my dress without them fat shaming me. I chose to take my sweet time and plan my wedding exactly how I want it to be. I chose not to have a traditional ceremony and reception for my mental health because I get overstimulated after about a hour of yapping. There’s a lot of things I’ve chosen because I don’t have people in my ear who are projecting or trying to dim my light.

STRESS IS THE NUMBER ONE WAY TO SHORTEN YOUR LIFE SPAN. IF YOU WANT TO LIVE TO CELEBRATE HAPPY MOMENTS, GET RID OF THE SHIT ( OR SHITTY PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE.

Weddings are to celebrate love! Not to stress about shit that wont matter the next day. You know what will matter, you and your partner feeling fulfilled and embraced by loved ones. So to all the 2025 brides and beyond, do NOT stress about things that aren’t that important.

It’s YOUR day, and only you can make it magical. Don’t ruin it with people or things that trigger you to become a bridezilla.

I’m finding that I’m experiencing so much pleasure from having things my way. Money isn’t an issue, nor is people invading my space. I’m able to freely create and bask in the love I’ve always wanted without any interruptions. I wish this energy on any future bride!

Cheers 🫢🏾

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