𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖚𝖘𝖎𝖆𝖓𝕵𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖑

This weekend, I indulged in some nerdy fun and finally went to see Captain America with my boyfriend. Despite the racist critics who tried to undermine Anthony Mackie in this role, I was thoroughly moved by how well he carried the mantle. His wit and heroic presence made the film both inspiring and thought-provoking. It also left me reflecting on something deeper because I can never just watch a movie like a normal girl. What stuck out to me was the importance of recognizing the human even within the monsters in our lives.

I’ve spoken a few times about the “monsters” who I’ve experienced within relationships that no longer align. But what I don’t talk about as often is the monster within myself. The truth is, we all have one or a few and there are parts of us we suppress to remain palatable in society. But does that make someone fully disposable because they’re having a human experience?

For me, my inner monster is triggered by two things: a lack of clear communication and a lack of self-awareness. My Venus is in Gemini, and my Mars is in Virgo. I am not easy going, and I refuse to let up. Because I cannot introduce myself to a vibe that I can’t maintain. I absolutely love being direct. I love being in the knowing. I love letting people know. I love being fearless. I love not feeling guilty for not aligning. I love being comfortable disappointing people when I just can’t. Because often, I do and I do and I do. I ask, and I do. That’s just how I’ve been. I’m very observant, and I am also very inquisitive. My mars and Venus sign is a very dynamic duo. Nothing irritates me more than struggling to understand someone’s logic, or vice versa. But instead of letting that frustration explode, I channel it through distance. I’ve learned (the hard way) my level of self-awareness comes with time and personal effort. You can’t force someone to see themselves clearly, no matter how much you want to because self awareness has to come from who? Self, amen.

I’m not perfect, nor am I always self aware. Occasionally I let my man/friends into my chaotic mind and at times, I talk to my Astra app because she has NO problem reading me to filth:

So because I am very much so a recovering “perfectionist”, it’s best to not look to me for any guidance or advice, take what I say with a grain of salt unless you embody the courage to be inspired by my rawthentic expression of “real life”. I use to think I worked for God, but I’ve been demoted to exist amongst the commoners. The only advice I have left in me is my therapist booking link, she’s real, shoutout to her. Some things are up to God and the universe alone, and I’ve learned my lesson about interfering with anyone’s karma. As a writer, I express myself with depth and clarity, thinking I’m leaving little room for confusion but that’s based on my perspective only.

In Captain America, everyone’s inner monster showed up in different ways. The President was triggered by constant interrogation and by being viewed as an angry man, especially by his daughter. It crushed him that she refused to speak to him because of his explosive nature. Meanwhile, Captain America was triggered by inequality. He wanted everyone to feel seen for their best qualities and was willing to go to great lengths to make that happen. Both of them, in their own ways, fought to be understood. While Samuel Stern did an amazing job at being the Villian in this story,he had a passion for intelligence. His passion for knowledge drove him into an obsession and the president gave him a lab to carry out his dirty work. Stern, spent the whole movie trying to ruin the presidents repetition since it was the one thing he truly valued keeping clean. In return, Stern “treated” the presidents deteriorating heart condition which eventually turned him into Thunderbolt aka The red Hulk.

It’s human nature to care about others, or even to want the best for them, but that doesn’t mean you’ll get it on your timeline. Sometimes, taking a step back (or forward) is what triggers real change. Nobody wants to be perceived as anything but perfect, because we all strive for it. Specifically as women, we are suffering from the need for perfectionism and it doesn’t align with any human being well. Let that inner BITCH out, it’s okay. Show people your “true colors”. Your true colors may just be dark green but someone can perceive it as red, but if your intent was dark green then once again who gon check who? 🙃.

Be willing , be open to a different experience 🤍

Being human is about navigating the balance between free will and acceptance—recognizing that while we have the power to shape our perspectives and actions, our flaws and imperfections are part of the journey. Embracing these flaws as temporary, fleeting experiences allows us to detach from the idea that they define us. The process of distinguishing your core self from the stories (the “lore”) you’ve been told or believed enables you to step into a more authentic and empowered version of yourself. Through this deep self-awareness and acceptance, you can grow beyond the narratives that once shaped you, finding strength in your true essence. As I get to know who that is and what she feels like through different experiences, give her grace.

I dare you to get to know that b*tch.

She exists too and she needs to experience how it feels to live in her authenticity. Beyoncé’s Lemonade album displayed the gradual evolution of “the bitch” archetype that had ENOUGH! My sis said “ight nigga” and fought for her man to remember “that b*tch” exists + don’t get swapped out with a side of “ my sister will slap the shit outta you”. My Virgo sis knew it wasn’t worth it to just let go of the dynamic duo that we know as The Carters, and that’s where we have to give discernment her flowers because this is not my fight, it’s theirs, amen? Not because the Queen B couldn’t stand on her own, but because it wasn’t worth loosing the life she’s worked so hard for. So once she realized that she just wanted her man on his toes just a tad bit, she created “Don’t hurt yourself” and that was when I realized, it is absolutely okay to express your truth entirely. That was the day I met BeyonKA. The Lemonade album, has inspired so many women to either leave or wake “ that b*tch” UP maybe you should every now and then hehe.

Discernment —-> Decide what/who’s worth the fight (hint: bitch, it’s not worth it)

As Anthony Mackie’s Captain America said:

“If we can’t see the good in each other, we already lost the fight.”

If you haven’t already, please go watch Captain America, the Brave New World,if you’re a marvel fan of course.