𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖚𝖘𝖎𝖆𝖓𝕵𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖑

Cheers girlies! I turn 30 this summer and I’ve experienced many friendships prior to my frontal lobe developing. Now that I’m fully developed, aware and confident in the woman I am today. Here are my non-negotiable in friendships going into my 30’s:

1. Be Self-Aware

Self-awareness goes beyond knowing your insecurities—it’s about understanding your strengths, flaws, and the impact you have on others. I’m confident in who I am and aware of my own imperfections, but I cannot take on the role of building someone else’s self-confidence. That’s an internal journey only you can embark on. What I can do is inspire self-love, not teach it.

2. Know How to Decenter Yourself

Friendship is about mutual respect and shared experiences, not one-sided storytelling. If you invite me out or call, I want to have balanced conversations. Let’s skip the venting marathons and focus on what we’re working on, what excites us, and what we’re learning. Let’s create space for growth, not just toleration.

3. Engage with Curiosity

Ask thoughtful questions. A strong connection comes from mutual interest, not assumptions or monologues. Conversations should be inclusive—help me feel like I’m part of the dialogue, not just a silent participant.

4. Be Kind

Kindness isn’t optional. While there are moments where assertiveness is necessary, making cruelty a personality trait is unappealing. The way you treat others—animals, children, service workers, and those in need—speaks volumes about your character.

5. Live Authentically

I admire women who are actively crafting lives they love. Whether it’s through travel, hobbies, relationships, or other passions, I want to be around people who are intentional about their joy. Let’s inspire each other to thrive, not settle.

6. Embrace Honesty

Transparency is essential. As someone who often senses hidden motives, I’ve learned the importance of being truthful about how I feel, even when it’s uncomfortable. In 2025, I’m committing to honesty—especially with myself—about the state of my friendships and my boundaries.

7. Be High-Maintenance in Effort

I value friendships that show effort and presence. I’m not asking for constant attention or weekends together, but I do expect friends who show up, even in small but meaningful ways. Low-maintenance friendships often lack reciprocity, and I need connections where I feel seen and supported.

8. Re-Centering Men in a Healthy Way

It’s not about neglecting ourselves or losing autonomy but recognizing when we’ve been conditioned to over-prioritize male attention, opinions, or validation. You can express a desire for friendships that hold each other accountable for dismantling those patterns while encouraging self-respect and boundaries in relationships with men. Let’s hold space for each other to redefine what it means to interact with men in a healthy, balanced way—whether it’s setting boundaries, healing from toxic cycles, or simply not making men the center of our conversations. I value women who live life on their own terms, reclaiming their energy and focus for themselves.

9. Emotional Maturity

Emotional maturity ties into honesty, effort, and the ability to have balanced, grown-up conversations. You may value friends who can navigate conflict constructively, communicate clearly, and work toward resolution rather than avoidance or defensiveness. I value friendships rooted in emotional maturity—the ability to handle tough conversations with grace, own your mistakes, and genuinely listen to others’ perspectives. A friendship where we can grow together means being able to navigate challenges without unnecessary drama or ego.

10. Community and Uplifting Women

My vision seems focused on creating a community of strong, intentional women who genuinely want to uplift each other rather than compete. I admire women who root for each other, celebrating wins instead of tearing each other down. Let’s build each other up, share resources, and remind ourselves that there’s more than enough success, love, and happiness to go around. True friendship is about uplifting, not competing.

11. Accountability

Accountability goes beyond decentering yourself or re-centering men—it’s about owning your actions, being responsible for your energy, and being dependable in the friendship. This could apply to showing up when needed, holding each other accountable for growth, or just being reliable in general. Accountability is everything. I value friends who can own their actions, check themselves when needed, and hold me accountable for the things I say I want to accomplish. True friendship is about mutual growth, not just surface-level connections.

12. Energy Alignment and Boundaries

As someone who values honesty and avoids unaligned relationships, this could tie into the importance of protecting your energy. It’s not just about recognizing toxic patterns but also ensuring your relationships align with my current growth path. Energy doesn’t lie. I value friendships that feel aligned with where I’m going, not just where I’ve been. Boundaries are an act of love—for yourself and others—and I’m committed to keeping my space sacred by only welcoming people who truly match my energy and intentions.

At the end of the day, life’s too short for surface-level connections or relationships that drain your energy. I’m stepping into 2025 with clear boundaries, a full heart, and the intention to surround myself with women who get it—who value mutual effort, self-awareness, and the beauty of growing together. It’s not about your friends having EVERYTHING you desire in a friend, but atleast some. We’re all human and we’re all learning how to be better human beings but some things are just bare minimum qualities you should aspire to have in your everyday life and within your friendship. Here’s to friendships that feel like safe spaces, filled with kindness, honesty, and genuine support. Let’s make this year about choosing quality over convenience, every time.

If this resonates with you, let’s connect and grow together! Whether you’re on a similar journey of self-discovery or simply value meaningful friendships, I’d love to hear your thoughts. Share your own friendship goals or reflect on what you’re prioritizing in 2025—I’m all ears. Let’s inspire each other to show up authentically and live intentionally.