𝖁𝖊𝖓𝖚𝖘𝖎𝖆𝖓𝕵𝖔𝖓𝖊𝖑

One of the most traumatic experiences a young girl can endure is witnessing her mother being mistreated by her partner. Whether the abuse comes from a biological father or a stepfather, the impact leaves a lasting and damaging impression on her development as a woman. Girls often emulate their mothers in ways they might not even realize. For instance, a mother who embraces a girly persona may inadvertently inspire her daughters to do the same.

This mimicry extends beyond superficial traits to encompass the behaviors and dynamics observed in parental relationships, be it friendships or romantic partnerships. The way parents interact can profoundly influence their children’s future relationships and even affect how grandchildren behave towards them.

Additionally, many women find themselves raising their daughters alone due to fathers failing to fulfill their parental responsibilities. This abandonment fosters a lack of trust between the child and her parents and can sometimes lead to deep-seated resentment. The consequences of these dynamics can ripple through generations, shaping how women perceive and engage in their own relationships.

I recently stumbled upon an amazing UK based series on Hulu called Queenie. The show beautifully highlights the process of forgiveness within a Jamaican mother-daughter relationship. Throughout the series, I saw myself reflected in the characters’ struggles, something that doesn’t happen often while I’m wrapped up in my XL fleece blanket, sipping on a malt. For the first time, I came across a show that directly relates to my internal conflict with the idea of forgiving your shitty parents.

Often, I come across social media posts saying, “Forgive your parents; it’s their first time living too,” and my snarky ass always find it in my heart to respond with “NO” in all caps. Queenie captures the complex emotions a young girl experiences when she doesn’t have the ideal mother, and it reflected so perfectly through each episode.

As a girl that grew up with both Caribbean parents that are undiagnosed lunatics, I understood uh stoutness when she was around family. Caribbean people are notorious for ignoring all mental health related issues that conflicts with their communication skills for their own benefit of course.

Although she did have family members who loved her dearly, she felt cornered by them constantly telling her to “forgive and forget” how she feels towards her mom. Unfortunately for them, Queenie is a millenial so accountability is our POWER and we’re not afraid to use it. She didn’t allow her family to guilt trip her into people pleasing for the sake of “keeping the peace”.

Queenie is not just a girl; she’s a woman yearning for her mother’s validation. Despite being blessed with an amazing aunt, grandmother, and grandfather, Queenie feels the absence of her mother deeply. Her father was abusive, treating her mother horribly, and Queenie witnessed their turbulent relationship for a long time. This left her with an underlying fear of dating Black men, and she despised her mother so much that she refused to include her in her life. Nobody chooses that reality, but some relationships hurt so badly that isolation seems the best way to cope until you’re ready to reconnect.

Regarding her relationship with her mother, Queenie realized that the past cannot be changed, but her mother has made an effort to be present and apologize for not setting the right example. Her mother understood that her past actions made Queenie more cynical and confused. Redemption, as Queenie shows us, is not about turning back time but about acknowledgment and changed behavior. We all make mistakes, but true redemption lies in how we choose to move forward. Choose wisely.

If you haven’t already, checkuu out Queenie on Amazon Prime. It’s an amazing series with a fully Black cast, which are my personal favorite kinds of shows. If you enjoy great TV show reviews, be sure to subscribe for more blog posts like this!